What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why is the government destroying the homeless instead of helping them?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Is the Shia claim true that Imam Ali was born inside the Kaaba?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do narcissists and especially covert narcissists always play the victim?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Trump always acts like he was forced to be president, that he was chosen by God. Why do we put up with this? This maniac can't focus and get his mind off of being asskissed like an emperor.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do I sometimes hear full conversations when I am alone?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Make Nazis afraid again!

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can you recommend a simple song with an awesome solo? What makes the solo stand out?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do foreign workers face discrimination in Canada?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.